Tuesday, 25 October 2011

My Day Out by Clearwater Phoenix aged 12 ¾.

I woke up on Monday and mummy said we were going for a day out to Occupy London. I was not happy as mummy and daddy had promised to take me to Legoland.

While we were eating breakfast (I still don’t understand why I have to have Organic free-trade Muesli instead of Co-co pops ) mummy got ready. But she scared me! Instead of her usual clothes, she got an old pair of jeans and rubbed dirt into them! And then rubbed some into her recently styled hair!

            ‘Mummy, stop it’ I cried, but she just whispered that she had to do this, otherwise her friends at Occupy London would laugh at her.

            After finishing our Cappuccinos, we walked to the tube station. On the way I hugged mummy really tightly as I could see some of daddy’s friends at their offices in the chambers and THEY WERE LAUGHING AT US!!! I said to mummy ‘Stop Swearing’ when I heard her whisper. We ran all the rest of the way to the station.

            Mummy queued up at the station for my ticket, she already has her own to get to her job at the estate agency, we got on the tube. On the train a man carrying a brown bag with a bottle inside asked if mummy would like to go with him. He smelt horrible. I said to mummy ‘Stop Swearing’ when I heard her whisper.

            When we got to Occupy London, we were at St. Paul’s Cathedral! ‘Can we go and see daddy?’, I asked as he only worked a little walk away. ‘Not today’, said mummy. Mummy said ‘Hello’ to our friend, James. I like James as he has his own swimming pool underneath his house, and he lets me swim when I want to! James said ‘Yo Man, down with the capitalist bastard’. Mummy nodded, I said sternly ‘Stop Swearing’.

            James lead us to a tent and said we could stay here for the day as no-one else would use it until Friday when the ‘Die before Eviction’ group were coming down to stay for the night. James then gave mummy an Espresso and Big Mac.

            I was bored, but mummy said it was very important to be here to protest against the bankers. ‘But isn’t daddy a banker?’, I said. ‘Yes, but he’s not a bad banker she replied’. ‘Then is Uncle Toby a bad banker? . ‘No, he’s a good man’. ‘Then who is a bad banker?’ I demanded. ‘Well, everyone else’, she shouted. I cried, mummy looked around to see if anyone was looking at us. James smiled at us, but put a finger to his mouth.

            Mummy then took us to see the ’Media’ tent. All there was inside was a TV with pictures of all the nasty people. Daddy wasn’t on the TV. From outside I could hear people shouting at us to get a job. But daddy has one already and mummy’s daddy has a big house in the Cotswolds. They cannot be very clever people!
            On the steps of St Paul’s the vicar is talking to my Auntie! Auntie Clarissa is very nice and lives in France with Uncle Lionel and Grace and Lilly. Lionel has finished work as he made lots of money. He is 37, daddy told me that. I told him, ‘Stop Swearing’ after he said something naughty as well !

            Auntie was shouting at the vicar. ‘Leave us Alone, you bastard’. The vicar looked very embarrassed. A policeman spoke to Auntie, but she just shouted at him. All the policemen around her started laughing. This made auntie angrier and she sat down on the steps, refusing to move. The vicar walked away, the policemen ignored her. Five minutes later Auntie Clarissa got up and walked away.

            At 3pm we had to leave, mummy and Auntie Clarissa wanted to get home as they had to meet their friends at the wine bar. I told Auntie Clarissa that she mustn’t swear, especially at Vicars, but she laughed. But she still told me off when I said I had lost my damn ticket!

I don’t like it when nanny Alice looks after us. She doesn’t let us eat cup cakes before we go to bed. Mummy was excited before she left as she could tell all her friends about protesting at Occupy London.

            I hope we go to Legoland tomorrow.

1 comment:

  1. An acccurate account of an average day out for the supporters of or members of the stupidity and idleness that is the socialist shithole of #OccupyLSX.

    Love it!